Last week I posted about my MeToo moment and the support was overwhelming and amazing. It’s always nerve-wracking and scary to post something so vulnerable. I was nervous that I would be judged. I was wrong and this is my thank you to everyone who reached out, who called me, who texted me. You showed me how much love is in the world and how much you love me. Your support while I get through this makes every bad day easier, it makes my darkness feel brighter.
This is also a special thank you to those who emailed me with your own stories. I know that cannot have been easy. Just remember, you do not owe anyone your story. It is yours to tell and do not ever feel rushed or pressured to tell it. You will when you a ready.
I got some questions asking how you can be there for a friend or family member who has been affected by sexual assault so I’m going to address some things that I think are important. I am no means a professional and if you have any questions, RAINN.org has some great resources to check out.
- acknowledge their pain. – Do not try and empathize.
- Ask them what they need from you – this can be hard because you want to try and give advice or help them but don’t know how. The best way is to say “what can I do for you, what do you need from me?” this allows them to tell you specifically what they need.
- Patience – this is the hardest part because healing and recovering takes time and is different for every person. There will be bad days, and some of them can last a week, a month or just a few hours. It can vary depending on what triggers it. You have to be patient and caring when this happens and this can be hard because you do not fully grasp or understand what is going on and you don’t like watching your loved one in this bad spot. Being patient is crucial to supporting them and helping them.
- Love them – this seems so obvious but the biggest fear of revealing our sexual assault is being judged and shunned. Showing them that you still love them, still want to be with them and hang out with them helps alleviate this fear.
I made a playlist that will hopefully inspire you to be a bomb friend and supporter.